We were talking with Dan about how we felt back in the day when we only had Shayna and how the moment felt right to get pregnant again. I was thinking about how you feel in those last weeks, nervous, anxious, happy, super excited, tired, etc... it is all such a cool experience. So I was asking Dan if he ever felt like "oh crap what have we done?" or if he was ever freaking out about having another littler one, and he never did. I think that we both felt like it was the right time and we were just so excited about what the new experience was going to be like, I mean Shayna was so much fun and cute that we wanted to have another one. It happened the same way with every single one of my kids after that. While everyone else was worried for me because I was adding one more mouth to feed to my family, I was just excited and not worried about a single thing, except for the health of my baby :)
The funny thing is that if were to get pregnant right now, I would not be happy or excited at first, because we are not planning on it, we don't feel ready for it and know that it just isn't the right time for #5.
Somehow I have this idea that in two years when Aaron starts PK, I will have more time by myself at home and it will be perfect to have a little one once again, it will be perfect because I will be able to give the baby all the time he or she is going to need and I wont go insane like I have with the last one. Believe me I was ready for Aaron, but somehow it turned a little bit stressful after he was born. We still love having four kids, but number 2 and 3 were definitely easier on me (mentally).
So I guess what I am trying to say is that I am happy the way things are right now for us, sure I get baby hungry, specially having my sister in law so close and knowing that she will bring her baby home soon, but at the same time knowing that I am not prepared for another baby brings me right back to reality and everything seems OK. Babies are a blessing, my kids are living proof of it, without them my life would be so different. I just want to enjoy my last baby so much without feeling guilty for not giving that baby the same attention I gave to my other ones.
Just to remind me how cute my kids were when they were born, here are their baby pictures.
Shayna, born in VA
Victor, born in WV
Aaron, born in UT
Tristan, born in VA
2 comments:
You have such cute kids! I had no idea they were born in different places.
AMEN! I have felt the same exact way almost everytime! I say almost because once it was Russell who was ready, and I wasn't, but she turned out to be a HUGE blessing for us, so it all worked out right. I know we were supposed to have every child we do! You look amazing after your babies are born, by the way!
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