So yesterday I did something that I had promised myself to never do again. Having Facebook has been a blessing for me because I was able to find lots of family members and friends from back home that I had not had the chance to talk to for over decades... it was a happy place until it became a place to share whatever is on your mind and stat fights with each other when you do not agree with one another. I used to defend my point of views but that only made things worse and then I ended up feeling mad at the other people, specially people from church that I had to see every Sunday and it was really hard. Eventually I decided that I had to follow the golden rule, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all, either that or quit Facebook all together. I can't quit Facebook I need to communicate with my family and share my pictures and adventures... so that is not an option, I can't unfriend everyone I don't agree with so I just hide the people that like to start confrontation and for a long time that has worked wonders for me. Until yesterday, I made the mistake of reading something and letting it get to me, Here is a little bit of the background on this story:
Yesterday was the STAAR test for all kids in the districts, well some grades at least. I could care less about this test, in my house we have learned to not stress about it and we don't expect the kids to stress about it either, they are smart kids and have always done great (finger crossed that is still the case this year). I have taken the kids for a free breakfast that McDonalds provides on that day, it is fun and the kids look forward to it, so I shared a picture of the boys eating there yesterday. I saw other moms that had one their breakfast from scratch and I commended them on it, they are awesome mothers, I didn't feel any less because I didn't do that. You see we were just sharing a possitive thing that we do during a time when our kids have to go and spend hours at school being bored, my kids are done with their tests withing an hour or so and for the rest of the time they just sit there bored to death. I wish I could keep them home but what would I be teaching them? That they can skip the hard or boring things in life because they feel like it? I now that test doesn't test how smart they are, I know the reason behind the test so I send them so the school can get their funding and I honestly need them to learn to deal with life as it comes so later in life they can deal with bigger and harder things. That is how I think and it doesn't make me a better mom than the ones that chose to keep their kids home that day, you do what you feel is right for your kids. Having said that I didn't post my picture to make anyone else feel bad, I didn't post it to show how cool of a mom I am because I took them out to eat a free meal.... not at all, it was just a thing we did. What really made me feel bad was when I read a fellow mother post the following:
"This is us preparing hard this morning NOT to take the worthless STAAR test. So glad we homeschool and don't have to worry about that garbage. We will start school around 9am, actually learning -not stressing. We don't teach to a test in this house. We value real learning. Not wasted time due to a test."
it was followed by a picture of her son sleeping ( I think he was sleeping he might not have been...) and I could not help but feel sad that she needed to use language such as "garbage" and the fact that she said she values "real learning". I can't lie to you it felt like a low blow to my stomach, after I had posted my picture with my boys...
I have nothing against mothers who chose to home school, I honestly respect them and I feel happy that they can do it with their kids, they have different circumstances with their kids, they do what they feel is important and I would never go to them and tell them anything that might make them feel they are doing a bad job raising and teaching their kids. I commented on her wall and this was my comment"
"Good for you!! I value real learning too, what a blessing that you can teach your kids at home... for all of us that can't we don't agree with the test but do what we can to get them ready for a stressful day. Have an awesome day with your kids!!"
As you can see my comment was not meant to offend, I was simply being supportive of her and the things they chose to do. From there it exploded into a huge thing, with her friends saying awful things and even trying to convince me that I too could home school if I wanted to. It got ugly really fast and eventually stopped reading all that crap because that is what it turned into. I wasn't the only one that felt her choice of words were not the best but I never offended them at all.
It is really sad that we can't support each other in all we do. I don't agree with everything everyone does, there is no way you can do that. I chose to let my kids go to school because that is where they thrive and area happy, they have opportunities that I could never offer at home. I don't have the patience to teach all of them and their education would be lacking so much if I did.... it is just not for us but hey it might be for you and that is OK.
A friend recently decided to home school all her kids, it was the best choice for her,she seems happier now, her kids are learning and it is awesome, this friend also doesn't go on Facebook and trash us parents who don't home school, she gets it, she respects and supports me. Just like I dd when she decided to do it, some people came to her wall and told her she should not do it, they were so mean and said she could not do it. Why are people like that? I just don't get it. Simply support each other it is not that hard but most importantly respect each other. I have learned my lesson, I will keep away from commenting on anything else. I don't want to create problems by wishing someone a good day. These days a simple thing can get you in trouble.
A few weeks back I was sharing about my sons' room and how messy it was. I explained in my post that I had given them every chance to clean their room and now they were going to face the consequences... well a "friend" took it upon herself to judge me and start a comment by saying "I don't mean to offend you but..." THAT IS THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO!! if you don't want to offend me then don't, as simple as that. She went on by saying how I wasn't going to teach them a lesson that I was doing everything for them... she just thought I was this horrible mom who doesn't teach them anything. Of course I got offended and explained to her that in fact they were losing all fo their toys, that I was taking every single one of them and they did clean their room that day after I took everything out. We all think we can do a better job at parenting, we just need to stick to what we do with our OWN kids and not look at our neighbors and compare ourselves thinking we are better. The world would be a better place.
It just makes me sad and frustrated. I am writing this on my blog so that I can remember how I felt about these incidents and hopefully in the future I can keep myself from making someone else feel about about themselves and their options. We need to be more Christ centered and avoid confrontation.
