So my kids have had a great year. They all finished school strong with lots of certificates for being the best readers, good at math, future president... you get the idea.
It was a very interesting school year and we could hardly wait for them to be done with school, for some reason I have been really looking forward to them getting out and to spend time with them and so far I have succeded. I took the boys to the dentist this week and we spent 3 awesome hours bonding doing word search and drawing and talking about a bunch of stuff. We take out word-search seriously in this house and I am proud to say that I had personal best at 3 minutes, the word-search wasn't that big but still it usually takes about 6 to 10 minutes... we have gone to the pool already and enjoyed it very much. Shayna and I have found time to go out and do things together and hopefully next week we can get her quilt done so she can take it to camp.
Shayna and Victor both did great in Honors Band this year, I think it was a really good learning experience for Victor and also a great opportunity for him to step out of his comfort zone. Having Shayna around school made it so we felt better about Victor not being teased, the fact that he is part of band I think will help him stay safe. They already know him and he likes being there.
Shayna is moving onto High school and it is still mind blowing to me that she is that old. She is planning on enjoying summer until it is time for her to go to band camp in August which is all day long, she already told me how she is dreading that part but I think it will be good for her.
Victor is moving on to 7th grade and looking forward to his new classes too. He is planning on doing lots of reading this summer and already got started.
Tristan is moving onto 4th grade and Aaron onto 2nd grade. Now this two boys are really excited about going to a new school. As a family we decided it would be best to take them out of their current school and have them try a charter school that is really close to our house, if you follow me on FB you know all about the "awesome" experiences we had to deal with this school year. Bullying kept happening and the dumb rules that the school has are just so pointless. I had the boys come home many times telling me how they were always missing their recess because of the kids talking in class so for months they were not allowed to go outside and play, getting punished for other kids talking to them, etc etc. The list goes on and on. The most frustrating part was how much the school really does not care about their students, their struggles or anything. I don't feel like they reached their full potential there and the new school they will be attending will be smaller and hopefully they can achieve more there. Dan and I went to a parent orientation night and were pretty impressed with it, Tristan who was with us was so excited and I think wanted to start going right away. We are currently waiting on them to call us with the official news that they made the list, apparently they have a lot of kids wanting to go there and only so many spaces. Last time I talked to them they said Aaron is pretty much in and that we should not worry about Tristan because we turned in all needed paperwork and are ahead the other kids on the waiting list. Lets keep our fingers crossed. If they do not have a spot for either one of them I am prepared to keep them home for a while and home school until a spot opens up. I am confident that we are making the right decision and that thing will work out.
My sweet Kahlan has been enjoying life and learning a lot, her vocabulary is so extended now and it has been such a treat to see how much she has grown up this year. We are still working on potty training, sadly she is very stubburn and does not want to get the hang of it. Other than that she seems to be ahead of her age, when ever we go places people stop me to make comments about what a smart little girl she is and how adbanced for her age she is. If you start up a conversation with her be prepared to have a very long and fun one. She will talk our ears off and she is so loving too, I have a friend who has a little girl same age as kahlan and they are supposed to be best friends but I think Kahlan likes the mom more than her frind.... whenever she sees her at church she runs to the mom and tells her "Sister Bales I just love you", you just have to see it, the facial expression and the way she caresses her hair is to die for, cute cute cute.
Some times I tell her I love her and she says "No... Daddy loves me" and when he tells her that he loves her she says "No.... Mommy loves me", she is the reason I forget we have trials some times, makes my day every day.
The other day I told her she was driving me nuts... she replied "I drive you nusts mommy?" I said "yes you drive me bananas!!!" she then replied "I drive you apples and pineapples...." we all laughed so hard and she got embarrased but it was so funny and I laughed so hard that I cried.
So that's it. We haven't done anhything exciting, have not gone on vacation, Dan still works on homework all the time and I feel like a single mom some times but the end is near and I just can't wait to be done with this phase in our lives.
Our Brown family reunion is coming soon too and it is now just a couple of weeks before we see everyone here in Texas, we will be driving down to Galveston to a beach house that was rented for the entire family. I really can't wait to go and relax and that will be our offcial vacation for the year.
Life is not perfect at this time, I know things will get better, we pray for a better future and are very grateful for the so many and wonderful blessings, for family and friends and look forward to a lot of adventures. I hope we can stay postive as a new era aproaches for us, for Dan and I am here to support him in any and all decisions, I pray for guidance and strenght to be the wife I am meant to be and together we will get to where we are supposed to be. Every year is something new, every year brings a lot of learing experiences and this year Dan and I are defenetly learning a lot and the kids too, I am amazed at how strong they are and how much they can do.
What have I been up to?? Well my friends that is another story and will gladly do an update on that soon.
Monday, June 23, 2014
Thursday, January 2, 2014
New Year, New Goals.
Since I am sick and no willing do anything at all and basically just waiting for my medication to start working and get sleepy... I am going to bore you with my thoughts.
Last year was a tough year for me, I had a few challenges that broke me down to the core and thought that I would never be able to get up again and keep moving forward. When you add the extra things that life throws at you then it just seems like there is no end to your suffering.
I don't consider my trials and tribulations to be harder than anyone else but in my world they are mine to bear and mine to deal with so yes they seem big enough and more than I can carry at times.
In the process of getting myself to feel better I found out that if you let the Lord help you the load does become a little lighter, if you let people help you by listening then the load does get even lighter.
I have written this post so many times before but I kept myself from publishing it because I was so mad at the time and reading them again I can see that the place where I was hiding was not pretty at all.
First of all let me start by saying that I do not consider myself the perfect human being, I am far from it and I have never portrayed myself as perfect. If you take a good close look at me you can see that I am needy, whiny and annoying. My poor husband has to deal with me on a daily basis and that is how I know he loves me because he puts up with me other wise he is just plain crazy. I might seem a little over achiever at times, too much going on at once. Lots of projects in the works, lots of them sitting on my shelves undone and lots more in my head. I was telling a friend this week that this is my way of keeping things off my mind, if I think too much then I can go back to getting all depressed about my problems.
In the process of trying to find a good friendship I pretty much lost myself and affected my family as well. Last year I had a best friend and lost her all at once. It all happened so fast and it almost feels as if I was hit with something and suddenly I woke up trying to make sense of what happened.
It will forever be a mystery to me how things went so wrong so fast. For months I blamed myself for everything, things were said to me that made me feel less than scum, the behavior from this person showed to me that I was never a true friend to her and that all I had done that was good was being turned into evil somehow. I started to believe this person that I was not good enough, that I was a bad mother, wife and friend and thus had a bad husband, bad family and bad friends. The picture that was painted of me seemed like a monster and it scared me so much. That's when I hit the bottom and entered into what I could see as the beginning of a deep depression. I felt so alone even though I had my family right there with me. Sure I talked to Dan about it and he understood me and while trying to make sense of it seemed difficult to him too. I mean the whole thing affected the entire family.
I was spending my days laying down on the couch with no desire to do anything, talk to anybody, I just wanted to sleep every day for a long time. Eventually I told my mother about what was going on and slowly started to accept things as they were. My mom was able to point out that I was not that evil person I thought I was. I was able to go back and see how the evil had been done to me instead and how this person had so much poison to spread around about EVERY single person she came in contact with and that is how my eyes were opened. Finally it kind of made sense, after taking a hard look at the trail she had left behind I could see that others had suffered and were suffering just as I had been. It gave me the strength to rebuild myself and dig myself out of that hole that was not very pretty.
It took months to get better, Dan kept listening to me, my mom kept talking to me and cheering me up and although I had vow to never ever have friends again I let myself out of my shell and started to trust others again. I have found that there are some good people out there that are willing to listen and be kind and loving, people that are what they seem and do not hide behind a fake smile.
I had to be strong for my own daughter who ended up down the same path I did as her best friend happened to be my best friend's daughter and sadly chose to follow the same sick and strange behavior that was damaging not only to my kid but several other friends.
She is also struggling with this issues still but we are doing it together and coming out stronger than before.
So this is my story for last year, the one that will probably remain in my head so vividly and the one that has taught me so much in the end.
We truly need to remember to follow the commandments, to do onto others as we would like to be treated. Love one another... as simple as that.
And so my main goal for this year is exactly that, to be kind to others no matter what, not expecting anything in return just doing it because in doing so we are showing our love for Heavenly Father. I can only imagine how disappointed he was with me when my behavior was not what it should have been. I can only imagine how much he suffered as he saw me in pain because I could see that with my own kid.
This year I want to be able to look back 12 months from now and say that I was able to be kind to many and create a never ending chain of good deeds to others, I am going to be open to opportunities to serve and seek out those who are alone. I will surround myself with kind people to strive to lift others up not bring them down.
My goals are many but they are doable, I have written them down for my personal progress but this one on this post is my own personal theme for the year. I want to be better than I was last year, I want to do better.
Last year was a tough year for me, I had a few challenges that broke me down to the core and thought that I would never be able to get up again and keep moving forward. When you add the extra things that life throws at you then it just seems like there is no end to your suffering.
I don't consider my trials and tribulations to be harder than anyone else but in my world they are mine to bear and mine to deal with so yes they seem big enough and more than I can carry at times.
In the process of getting myself to feel better I found out that if you let the Lord help you the load does become a little lighter, if you let people help you by listening then the load does get even lighter.
I have written this post so many times before but I kept myself from publishing it because I was so mad at the time and reading them again I can see that the place where I was hiding was not pretty at all.
First of all let me start by saying that I do not consider myself the perfect human being, I am far from it and I have never portrayed myself as perfect. If you take a good close look at me you can see that I am needy, whiny and annoying. My poor husband has to deal with me on a daily basis and that is how I know he loves me because he puts up with me other wise he is just plain crazy. I might seem a little over achiever at times, too much going on at once. Lots of projects in the works, lots of them sitting on my shelves undone and lots more in my head. I was telling a friend this week that this is my way of keeping things off my mind, if I think too much then I can go back to getting all depressed about my problems.
In the process of trying to find a good friendship I pretty much lost myself and affected my family as well. Last year I had a best friend and lost her all at once. It all happened so fast and it almost feels as if I was hit with something and suddenly I woke up trying to make sense of what happened.
It will forever be a mystery to me how things went so wrong so fast. For months I blamed myself for everything, things were said to me that made me feel less than scum, the behavior from this person showed to me that I was never a true friend to her and that all I had done that was good was being turned into evil somehow. I started to believe this person that I was not good enough, that I was a bad mother, wife and friend and thus had a bad husband, bad family and bad friends. The picture that was painted of me seemed like a monster and it scared me so much. That's when I hit the bottom and entered into what I could see as the beginning of a deep depression. I felt so alone even though I had my family right there with me. Sure I talked to Dan about it and he understood me and while trying to make sense of it seemed difficult to him too. I mean the whole thing affected the entire family.
I was spending my days laying down on the couch with no desire to do anything, talk to anybody, I just wanted to sleep every day for a long time. Eventually I told my mother about what was going on and slowly started to accept things as they were. My mom was able to point out that I was not that evil person I thought I was. I was able to go back and see how the evil had been done to me instead and how this person had so much poison to spread around about EVERY single person she came in contact with and that is how my eyes were opened. Finally it kind of made sense, after taking a hard look at the trail she had left behind I could see that others had suffered and were suffering just as I had been. It gave me the strength to rebuild myself and dig myself out of that hole that was not very pretty.
It took months to get better, Dan kept listening to me, my mom kept talking to me and cheering me up and although I had vow to never ever have friends again I let myself out of my shell and started to trust others again. I have found that there are some good people out there that are willing to listen and be kind and loving, people that are what they seem and do not hide behind a fake smile.
I had to be strong for my own daughter who ended up down the same path I did as her best friend happened to be my best friend's daughter and sadly chose to follow the same sick and strange behavior that was damaging not only to my kid but several other friends.
She is also struggling with this issues still but we are doing it together and coming out stronger than before.
So this is my story for last year, the one that will probably remain in my head so vividly and the one that has taught me so much in the end.
We truly need to remember to follow the commandments, to do onto others as we would like to be treated. Love one another... as simple as that.
And so my main goal for this year is exactly that, to be kind to others no matter what, not expecting anything in return just doing it because in doing so we are showing our love for Heavenly Father. I can only imagine how disappointed he was with me when my behavior was not what it should have been. I can only imagine how much he suffered as he saw me in pain because I could see that with my own kid.
This year I want to be able to look back 12 months from now and say that I was able to be kind to many and create a never ending chain of good deeds to others, I am going to be open to opportunities to serve and seek out those who are alone. I will surround myself with kind people to strive to lift others up not bring them down.
My goals are many but they are doable, I have written them down for my personal progress but this one on this post is my own personal theme for the year. I want to be better than I was last year, I want to do better.
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