I have not been back to my blog for a couple of years, life has been busy and I could not find the time to sit down and write anything at all. So much has happened since then but I will just start with out current situation.
On February 23rd Dan had a massive stroke. The day had started like any other day, him staying in bed before he had to start work. He was not even awake and I didn't kiss him like I usually do because he looked so peaceful. I did not want to go to the office that day. I had a nagging feeling to stay home but I knew my boss was going to be at the office and didn't want to disappoint him. I reluctantly got in the car and drove there, on the way I kept having the same feeling and even got into the Walmart parking lot because I was going to turn around and go home. Still the fear of having my boss mad at me was stronger than the little hints that were trying to get me to go back. I regret that so much...
In the end I ended up getting in the office and my boss never showed up. Around 12 I was going to go back home but decided to stay and have lunch at the office. I kept messaging Dan and letting him know that I had a really bad head ache and was probably going to go home, he responded to my messages and even sent me some gifs. After 1:30 I never heard back from him and I kept messaging him but didn't get anything back. I figure he got really busy with work. Fast forward to 3:00 pm which when I left the office and headed home, I was listening to music and happy to go home even if I had to work still. Right by the traffic light to turn into the neighborhood I get call from "Amorcito" ( the nickname I have for him on my contact list) and I remember smiling because we were about to see each other again. To my surprise it was Kahaln using our Echo Dot and she was screaming, all I could hear was her crying and saying something about someone not waking up. At first I thought she was talking about our dog, Darcy. It wasn't the dog, to my horror she was talking about her dad and how he was down on the floor and his eyes were closed and not able to get up. She was so scared, crying and didn't know what to do. I told her to calm down, that I was about to get home, I was only a minute away. By this time it was already 3:25. When I got to the drive and saw my neighbor Miss Pena, I ran to her and begged her to call 911 because I didn't know what I was going to find in the house and needed someone to get an ambulance right away. I remember coming in the house and finding Kahlan crying, I ran to my room and heard the most awful sound that I will never forget. And that is what my Kahlan found, her dad making a horrible sound that was like a snoring but super loud. He was face down, Aaron was standing right next too him crying and talking to someone on the phone. At the time I didn't know it was 911. He kept saying he didn't know what to do. I took his ear piece from him and was able to hear the agent ont he line, I told him what I saw and asked Aaron to help me turn him over, it was super hard to do it but we managed it. He had a shirt on and his underwear on, he had vomit all over his face and his eyes were closed, the agent asked me what happened and I said "I don't know what happend, I just got home and found him" at that exact moement Dan lifted his arm and held my hand and then pinted to his head. I told the agent what he did and I told him that maybe he had a bad migraine. He proceeded to tell me we need to open up his airway and to lift his head up, I did exactly what he said until the firefighters showed up. I asked Aaron to call Shayna and tell her what was going on. I went down stairs to check on Kahlan and found my neighbour sitting on the chair with her. I went back up and stayed out of the way. the firefithers kept asking what kind of drugs he had taken and I simply told them we don't have drugs in the home, I ended up going in the closet so I could see them working on him and took the chance to call my brother and explained what had happened. They immediately started a prayer chain with my family in Guatemala. Then I called his boss to let her know what had happend, she said he had logged off because he was not feeling well.
It seemed like an eternity before they were able to pull him out of the bathroom and taking him down. He was obviously over weight and too heave to bring the gurney up. Once he was down I tried to cover him up a little so the neighbors didn't see him like that. I know he would have hated to be exposed like that. They kept working on him out in the ambulance. Shayna and Victor made it home eventually and then Shayna went to pick up Tristan from school. We were all in shock, crying and worried about him. The ones that were in bad shape were Kahlan and Aaron.
Eventually Kahlan explained to me that she got home and Darcy was acting funny, instead of being excited that she was home, she kept barking and looking up at the ceiling. That is when Kahlan heard the noise and went up to see what it was. When she walked in and saw Dan's head she freaked out but thought he was playing with her and pretending to be dead. She talked to him and there was no response so she went to call me and use the Echo Dot for that, she then went to tell Aaron who had been home 10 minutes before her and he freaked out as well. He had the brilliant idea of calling 911, and honestly I think that the 3 of them were able to save his life, the dog, Kahlan and Aaron.
Aaron could not shake the sense of guilt, he said he could hear the noise but never imagined it was his dad, he thoguht someone was working in the back yard using some kind of tool.
I went to the hospital with Shayna and Tristan to see if we could see him. They didn't let us in and instead told us to wait outside. By this time everyone was aware of what was going on. I had texted Kylie and she in turn let Steven and Amber know, he then contacted some of his brothers I think. Jason and Tashia called, everyone kept asking me what they could do and all I could think of was prayers.
Shayna and Tristan got hungry and we left to go to BK but a doctor finally called me and asked if I had any family with me and if I was sitting down. I parked and listen to what he had to say. He basically said something like "your husband is really really sick, probably the sickest person in Houston right now, I can't do anything for him here, he had a massive stroke and needs to be taken to another hospital so a neuro surgeon can operate on him. You are going to need a lot of help, arrange baby sitting and expect to be at the hospital for a long time".
He was going to be transferred to The Woodlands location where they have some of the best neuro surgeons in the area. So we went home and I dropped Tristan off. Shayna went to change her clothes and I went to clean our bathroom and floor since they were a mess. Victor helped me clean up some throw up off the carpet. It was so hard to be back in the bathroom and I simply threw myself on the last spot where my husband laid down. I had disinfected everything but the image of him being there will never go away, still today 2 months after the whole thing it still makes me really sad to think of him lying there with no help, probably praying that someone could find him soon. I know he was still aware of what was going on to some extent.
Shayna and I eventually left for the hospital and got here around 9 pm. I was hoping we would be able to see him right away but when we got there we were told that he was not there yet. Doctor Al Shami who was the neurosurgeon on call that night came out to talk to us. He was not very hopeful of Dan's situation, he said he was very sick and it did not look good. The kind of stroke he got is one of the worst kind and the chances of survival were not very good. He basically told us to prepare for the worst, he kept saying he was sorry, specially after asking if we had any kids his face got even sadder. There was a storm that night and it took forever for the transfer to happen. When it did, they took him directly in for surgery and after it was done the same doctor came out and he said he would him a chance because he is so young. He put in a tube on his head to take care of the fluid in the brain. There are so many details that I have posted on Instragram and Facebook. I will add them on here eventually. I have tons of photos as well.
Today he is at the TIRR rehab center in the woodlands. I believe we are entering his 3rd week of rehab. He is doing so much better and I truly believe that he is alive and recuperating due to the prayers from family and friend from all over.
Whatever I thought was a huge trial in my life was nothing compared to this. My feelings are magnified but at the same time there is peace in my heart most of the time. I see the miracles each day I go see him. The days that I don't go are very few but I still have a job that needs to get done. My boss has been understanding in his own way. I know it is not ideal to have your full time employee go missing for a whole month and then return part time. As long as he lets me keep going I will do my best.
Life is hard, I don't get to rest, just keep going, keep swimming in this huge void and don't know where I am going but know that Heavenly Father is with me and leading the way. All I pray for is that Dan gets better, regains most of his abilities and then we can figure out what the next step is. We miss him so much and miss his voice, his dumb jokes and silly things he would come up with.
My kids have been great, they are dealing with this the best that they can. I can sit here and say it is not fair, why us, why Dan? but it doesn't help. God knows I can't do this without him, so there must be a plan for us right? I can't not see it right now but I know there is an end to this trial.
