Jealous much?

I never thought that I was going to have to deal with jealousy with my kids.  I always try to give them all my love the same way and give special time to each one of them.  I do recognize that lately I have been blogging about Victor a lot but I can't help it if he is the one doing all these cool Scout and school activities.  Victor was involved with the Gifted and Talented program at school this year and has been working really hard on a special project about house pets.  He was working at school and some things had to be done at home and from the very beginning I was very excited to help him out since he had never done anything like that before.  This week the big day came and we had to put together the entire presentation, he basically had it all done but left it at school (that is another story), in the end Victor found all his papers at school but needed to print some pictures at home and while trying to figure that out Shayna came to me asking me to help her with her own "project" she came up with... she took a bunch of pictures of outfits to wear to school and wanted to print them right then... After trying to explain to her that the school project took priority she then let all her frustration come out and let me have a piece of her mind.  Turns out that I have been spending way too much time with Victor, it is all about Victor at home lately, in her own words Victor is the most important person in the house right now.  You just don't go there with me because I can tell you that my biggest concern with having so many kids has been exactly that, I do not favor a single one (I tell each one of them they are my favorite) and I do not spend more time with one or the other.  Anyways she was really unhappy about it and it made me feel sad and like a failure.  It is funny how your kids will make you doubt yourself some times.
She came to me later and apologize and said that she knew she was being silly, I appreciate that a lot.  Today I took her on a little girl's get away from home and had some yummy lemonade from McDonald's.  I do enjoy the time I get to spend with her and she has no idea how lucky she was to be the first one or maybe that's why it is so had for her now to share me with everyone.  In any case I will try to be careful about the amount of time I spend with all of them and there will be times when some will need some extra special time with mom or dad and we will always try to make them all feel loved. 

PS.  While working on this projects there were many times when tears were shed out of frustration and I knew Victor was not loving me too much.  While I was trying to explain to Shayna how this was not the funnest part of the week I asked Victor if he was having fun with me and he laughed and simply said no... I don't blame him.  He said to me "I don't understand why Shayna thinks I want the attention, I really don't want it".