Forgiveness

I few months ago while I was beginning my pregnancy I had an encounter with one of the teachers at school.  I probably blogged about it but to make a long story short... this teacher was really rude to me and I reacted badly.  I can see the errors of my way now because I am no longer extremely hormonal (still hormonal but not that bad).  I guess that day I got to a point where I could not  take it anymore, not from her, not from the school people, so at a meeting later on I made a scene in front of a group of parents and kids.  Funny thing is that I was so proud of myself for doing that, I felt empowered and like a battle had been conquered and I was on the winning side.  The thing is that every day I see this teacher, every day she sees me, she is not Aaron's teacher but every once in a while she opens my car door and we kind of ignore each other.
It wasn't until a couple of weeks ago that the feeling of power and the idea of me making her feel bad started to make feel bad.  I went over the confrontation over and over in my head and I realized that it was so wrong of me to react that way.  Yes I was hormonal and all that but it was not my place to do what I did.  I felt so ashamed.  So a couple of days ago when she opened the door to let my kids in the car and while she was strapping Aaron in the car seat I asked her to forgive me for what I did months ago.. she looked surprised and I could see that she was going to start to cry.  I told her that I realized how badly I had treated her and that when I am pregnant I tend to turn into a basket case and I really feel bad about it.  She said that she cried for days, that it really affected her.  After I apologized to her again she said it was fine and had a smile on her face and right then I felt forgiven.  It felt good and also embarrassing, I felt humbled down to the ground.  I let pride enter my heart that awful day but I feel better now.  I know there are lots of people I have offended through out my entire life.  I have asked forgives to some, it is a painful path but one that has to be done.  Some have chosen to forgive me and others wont but that is on them.  It really feels different to be on the other side, when you have to accept that you have done wrong... 
After I got home I also realized that it had been a teaching moment for my kids, Shayna actually commented that she was afraid I was going to start yelling at her ... at least now she can see that grownups do stupid things too but we also have to say sorry when we do stupid things.