This post is all about me... let me explain the title. For a very long time now I have been working in the primary/nursery (like over 10 years) and I think I was starting loose it now. I mean there is nothing wrong with working in primary but when you have done it for this long a not being able to partake of the Gospel Doctrine classes and Relief Society you start to wonder if you should actually recharge the batteries or upgrade yourself spiritually :)
This is not something that just happened to me, it has been bothering me for a couple of years. It was worst when I was pregnant with Aaron, I felt like strangling the kids after church (nor mine by the way). It didn't matter how hard I tried to keep focused on the important of teaching the little ones, I just didn't feel like I was good enough to even try to read the lessons and go teach them on Sunday. Well lately I guess the fact that I was complaining to a bunch of sisters at church or maybe it was just mean to be... I got released today as a Nursery Leader.
When I was told last week about it I felt like a failure, I thought that it was going to be like a huge wight was lifted off my shoulders, but it didn't. I actually cried because I realized then that I hadn't been strong enough or tried hard enough to fulfill my calling.
Today as I sat during the Relief Society lesson it was amazing to see how much I really needed to be there. The whole lesson was directed at me and I feel like my batteries are getting charged already and I also feel more positive and with the desire to do better in all aspects of my life.
So I am grateful for the opportunity to go back and be the the listener again, to learn every Sunday something that will help me in the future to be a better teacher for the kids if that is where I am supposed to be.
2 comments:
I think we have all been there before with our callings, or at least I know I have. I am impressed you stuck it out. I have actually asked to be released before. I was asked to substitute for next week... in your place, I think. Thanks for nothing!! ;) Totally joking. But seriously, if i get your calling...you won't hear the end of it! hhahahahaha!
It is amazing how the Lord knows what you need. I totally understand about getting burned out in primary. Been there, done that too!! So glad you feel better.
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