Parenting is hard.

Parenting is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done, it is such a huge responsibility to take care of these special spirits our Heavenly Father has given us here on earth.  I have to be honest, years ago when I first started to have babies it was such a wonderful experience, teaching them how to talk, walk, eat, play, share, we would go to the park for hours and enjoy each others company.  The only thing I had to worry about was making sure they didn't get hurt when ran, didn't fall off the swing and make sure they ate so they could grow healthy.  Then the school years started.  It was still fun, specially with Shayna, she was the first for everything so it was very exciting to go see a school play for the first time, even if she was just one of the 101 Dalmatians, but she looked so cute in her doggy outfit.  Making dresses for her and all other kinds of crafts were always the highlight of my days.  To see her face light up when she saw the first dress I ever made for her was priceless and to see her face smile every time she saw me no matter if it was after I came back from the store or just after a nap... oh where oh where did those days go?  There is not a single day that goes by that we don't have an argument, about her hair, her clothes, her room, her homework, her friends... it is a nightmare.  What on earth happened to that sweet child of mine?  I know it is still there, we both have changed, I have 4 more kids, I know she doesn't get all the attention she deserves but I am trying my best to give to all of them, including the husband.  I sure miss the old days but I have to find joy in the days coming ahead, I have to be grateful for being able to be her mom and for being able to teach her even if she hates it.  I know it wasn't supposed to be that easy, but seriously I want to re do it all over again because I don't like the person I become most days.