So no news on the job front... yes it is hard, sad, at times depressing but we are not losing the faith. At least I am not because I can feel The Savior in my life, every day in one way or another. For example the day I was ready to give up because lets face it some times everything just stares at you in the face at the same time and it is too much to handle so you just want to quit and wish for your life to be over right then and there. But He knew it wasn't time to give up so he sent a friend, with flowers and card and gift cards. It was just at the right time. She had no idea what was going on in my head, she didn't know I had been crying and super sad, she came and said thank you for the time I spent at her house helping her with her Halloween outfits and she wanted to do something for me.
To her it was just a card and flower, just a thank you, but for me it was a sign that He is aware of my pain and my struggles. So that day I didn't give up.
The best way to explain how I feel right now is like I am on some kind of drug that keeps me from thinking too much about my reality, focusing more on my family and happy things that happen around me, I know there are so many things that I could be worrying about but during the day I just focus on the little things, spending time with my Kahlan, spending time with Dan which is really something we didn't have in the last year. Spending time with Shayna every morning on our drive to seminary and to school, talking to Victor after school and the helping the boys with homework.
I am even enjoying doing my laundry because up until two weeks ago my washer was trying to give up on me, it's still acting up but we found a setting where it wont flood our floor anymore. We still check up on it while washing, you never know when it will do it again. So yeah I am grateful we still get to do laundry at home and not having to go to a laundromat or as Houstonians say a "Washateria".
I am grateful for so many things, for the awesome kids we have and even though school seems hard for Shayna, we are grateful she is enjoying her time there. I am grateful for how easy they make this parenting thing. We are still not experts at it but they sure make it easy.
After having a conversation with Shayna today about Victor how I worry about him being online, she told me there is nothing to worry about, he has told her many time how the books he finds online sometimes have things that make him uncomfortable and he chooses to quit reading that book and move on to another one. That right there makes me so happy because they are doing the right thing.
Victor is a very special boy, he is kind, smart and it seems always choosing the right.
Tristan gave me us a little scare a couple of months ago, he was having a lot of pain around his tummy and also some chest pain, he was having difficulty breathing and ended up taking him to the doctor. The doctor suggested some tests and x-rays would be a good thing for him. It took a few days to get all the test results back but the one thing that made the doctor feel worried about was the X-rays, she asked if Tristan had suffered from Tuberculosis, of course he hasn't had that EVER!
The doctor requested some more tests, more blood work and a visit to the ultrasound specialist to check that out, apparently what they had seen on that x-ray is just not normal. Of course all this happened during the time Dan got let go so you can imagine the frustration, agony and the million scenarios that were running in my head. It was too much to handle and I am grateful that at that time I was able to be home 24/7 to take care of business and run all over the place with Tristan, he was poked so many times. I was worried of course, praying and fasting that it would be nothing. In the end the doctor still didn't have an answer, but she said it was nothing to worry about it, the ultrasound didn't show anything abnormal. I feel relived somehow and hoping to keep it that way. He hasn't had any symptoms, we changed his diet a little bit and it seems to help him. We took the junk food out of his life, it wasn't that hard since I really don't buy that much junk food anyways.
Aaron is another smart boy in this family, he is doing great in school, he has a little problem with his temper at home and we are working on it constantly. He is a sweet boy but lately he chooses to be mean to Kahlan most of the time, unless he really want's something then he is super nice to her.
Kahlan has started school earlier than expected, well Pre-K that is. Since Dan doesn't have a job, we qualify for the Head Start program at our local school, after I got all the necessary paperwork she was able to start last Friday, she was excited to start school and that same day after we registered her the school offered for her to come back a couple of hours later for afternoon Pre-K. We got some school supplies we didn't have at home and off she went. She has been very happy, it is only for 3 hours so she didn't freak at all on the first day. When we went to pick her up she was super happy.
I guess that's all for now, Dan and I keep on working on the job hunt, we both get on the computer and look for jobs that are available out there. He had an interview this week but sadly that's not going anywhere anymore.
Being in this situation is always very humbling, you learn that there are a lot of things that you really don't need to survive, I know we are going to come out of this one much stronger than before, we are learning patience, understanding, I am giving more of my time and enjoying service from others as well. Whatever it is that is coming, whenever it is we will be ready for it, we know it will be in Lord's time.
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